i'm overwhelmed.

I am overwhelmed. why? you may ask. I say this because at 20 years old, I thought I would have this free feeling and be doing whatever I wanted. this economy is basically laughing in my face right now. I'm a sophomore in university, I have two jobs that I work occasionally and I have to learn how to navigate the world on my own. it's tough out here, especially as a POC who's also a woman and queer. triple homicide. 

luckily, the only thing in my name that I have to pay is a damn phone bill, and that's like $97 per month. I have classes twice a week, every Monday and Wednesday but the workload is so stressful. I feel like I never get a break sometimes. especially since most of my assignments are essays and research papers. I need to sit by the lake and just scream my lungs out. 

I was able to do that yesterday tho, which I'm very grateful for. I went to the concert for J-hope (3/18) with my best friend. we have been friends since like 2018 but K-pop fans since before then. I was able to let loose during that concert and it felt like nothing mattered anymore at all, I loved it. I fear I'll be chasing that high for the rest of my life tho. hopefully, I won't. 

i just hope and pray that one day, I can feel so free and have that feeling for the rest of my eternal being.