Feeling down… but i got a new sketchbook

And they say romance is dead

I’ve been feeling so down these past few weeks. I feel like even my hobbies don’t motivate me anymore— not even the usual academic ambition to keep me going. Just straight up constantly tired and bed rotting. 

And I think I’m in that state where, seeing other people and having them sort of rely on me to vent, and with my usual attitude of nonchalantly ignoring my own problems, I feel like I don’t deserve (?) to complain about whatever problems I have. I feel like lots of people have it way worse than I. 

My boyfriend’s constantly noticing my mood. I feel bad but I don’t even know how I could even start to explain. Everything just overwhelms me at this point. But well, as awkward as he is with words… as always, he’s made it up with action. 

He saw that I had much pent up; no drive to crochet nor knit or sew; no drive to write or study. So many emotions. So he gave me a set of oil pastels and a sketchbook. Oil pastels. As if he’s trying to tell me, “go wild. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just let it all out.” 

And I’ve been drawing ever since. It’s helped a lot. I feel like.. so seen. To be loved IS to be seen. He may not be perfect but so am I; and my god, does he make me happy.