Trying to not be a Coward: Success (sorta)

Alright so it’s right before I go to sleep while writing this. So I liked how this girl looked in study hall, I’ve been glancing at her for like a week now. While I was on my phone looking up and down to both it and the girl an inspirational video came on about not waiting for your chance to do the things you want to do. This hits me hard (a lot of reasons that wouldn’t fit into a this blogpost) and because me and him share the same name I thought this was some kind of sign. 

So I try to do it, I grab a piece of paper and write a sentence, pretty dry cause if I go to fluid I think that would come of as serial killer-y. Just a simple “I think you look attractive” exact quote. Had to taker a full lap around the school and me forcefully launching myself out of my chair to get the courage to give it to her. So I gave it to her and left to pick up a book (and to not have to see her reaction. I did that and suddenly all that pants shitting terror a few seconds ago went away like being dunked in icewater after laying in the sun for the day.

When the class period was over (this really striked me) she took the rolled up scrap paper I gave her. She didn’t leave it there like what happened that last time. I don’t know if she threw it out later or still has it. But at least she did t discard it, or crumple it and rip it apart infront of me and I am surprised for that. I don’t know if she liked it or hated it or was virtually ambivalent. But that only give one more question I say to myself and to you…

 The hell am I gonna do tomorrow when I have class next to her again. I have no damn idea most of the girls I did this to let me down instantly or I never see them again.

But I did something pants-shittingly scary for me today and I am happy for at least that