The diary of a Non-B

I'm just testing this feature, don't mind me :/

7/13/25

Hi it's me, Melon

Everything is getting worse, somehow. I don't know how to feel about it rn but I'm trying to get better but nothing's working. Well, goodnight ig :]

My grandmother gave me a gold ring that was supposed to have my initials, but it doesn't. This happens all the time. It doesn't seem like they're related to me. They don't even know my name.

I feel like my physical and mental health is declining. I can't give up now. I don't want to let him down. I don't want to see him sad. I've made him cry several times because I'm still depressed, very depressed. He still can't seem to process it, and it hurts because I keep accidentally hurting him.

12/9/25

Fine, I have an exam today and I can't fucking sleep. It's 3 am and my body's aching a lot now. I'm a fucking disaster maybe I should disappear and leave them all in peace forever as they deserve.

I've lost most of my friends and I don't understand why, like, I always told them that we can talk whenever they want and I'll apologize for everything I do if that hurts them but they never did or they never cared at all. They just left when I needed them the most. I don't know what I did wrong I just want to know but I feel like I'll never be enough for anyone. They make me feel like nothing. I want to hate them but I can't I still caring for them even if I don't want to.

I'm not supposed to be depressed this is my huge opportunity for being the best version of myself. I can't I just can't I feel empty that kind of empty that makes you feel that you're falling down and drowning in your own poison and tears until you are nothing more that a piece of flesh. A doll everyone can use and discard when they please. 

Someday I will disappear and make everyone happy again.