i <3 to blog!!!!!

id honestly always blog. i know i already posted an entry and i thought i should only blog once a day but i have free will so ill blog however many times i want. i like talking about myself on here cus its relaxing. if i were to talk about my life, i cant say im struggling its just that school can be so stressful and on top of that my dad also pressures me. and not only about grades. we always go on cruise ships and weve been on a lot of cruise ships with the same company (a german one, this info is useful for later). i begun hating going in vacations on a cruise ship (the german one) bcus my dad cares if i socialise. not to be social, but to talk german. i go to a german school but i barely speak it so he thinks this is a chance to exercise my talking which i can agree, hes right but he has yelled at me so many times for not making friends or for being unable to do so (i have no idea how to socialise with teens and i lowkey have social anxiety. i shake and my head hurts) that it became literally fear of seeing those teens. he never understood this so in the end i go and talk with those brats but even if i made one friends its not ok. god i hate vacations with this man. he always gotta be mad!!!! besides that i dont struggle with anything. math is a problem in my life tho. this is embarrassing to even tell anyone but once at tutoring i began crying bcus i didnt understand. ofc i wouldve loved not to cry but i cant control my body and tears. the worst part was that i couldnt breathe and that felt like hell!!!!! i feel bad for my tutor having to put up with my stupid brain and crying but i hate math so much!!!!!!!!!!! besides these, i can say my life is ok. well if i ignore the homophobic people in my life, its ok. alr this is all yipee i love writing on here ^^