Reclaiming My Writing

   I initially posted this whole essay on my tumblr, so feel free to check that out if you’re interested in reading the whole thing.  

Lately  I’ve started writing more, and thinking more about my relationship to writing. In the essay I actually go a lot more in depth on my feelings and even ramble a bit about how I feel as though I’ve lost quite a bit of myself as an author to the current education system. 

    I think a huge part of that was, as I stated in my essay due to my own relationship with the American school system, particularly the way in which it trains you to adapt this copy and paste approach to writing.  Coming from personal experience, writing like this has led to the removal of myself  from the majority of my writing. More importantly, writing like this made me significantly dwindle in writing anything else since I was spending so much time creating this generated version of my writing for school, not for myself. And I think that’s sad and not something I want to keep doing. Partially because I would like to see myself develop more and regain a sense of creativity and ownership over the pieces I create, and also because I want myself to feel good about writing and creating these pieces to begin with.  

   Something that I feel is missing when I hear people talk about this type of burnout, is what to do after you’ve realized you’ve gotten to that point in life. I honestly still don’t know. Personally,  I’m still mulling through my initial thoughts and opinions on this topic, and that’s ok. If I did have to end on a statement about this though, I would probably say that the best thing that has helped me is recognizing  that I  do have a choice.  Personally, recognizing and reconciling with this point has made a huge difference in how I approach this idea of writing for myself. Because sure, I’m still going to have to deal with writing soulless creations for as long as I’m in college, but I’m also in this wonderful place where I have probably some of the most time I will ever have to actively plan out and devote time to creating pieces that are meant to just bring me joy. 

  I think doing this is actually really helpful in reclaiming my writing. Because while sure deadlines must be met, I also need to meet my own needs. Writing meets those needs in ways you can’t even imagine. 

  In writing this personal essay,  I’ve begun to re-evaluate how much writing means to me. In forcing myself to  create pieces  for me,  I reclaim my own voice and opinions. It’s for that reason that I think putting myself out here  and writing more for myself kind of proves that I not only do have a lot to say, in ways that are actually worth saying, but also that I have the capacity to learn and grow. It’s that type of growth that I hope continues to stay with me as I attempt to create a golden era for myself and my writings.