Hi fellow loserzzzzzz

I totally forgot about this whole site lmaO who's still active?!? I've been doing absolutely nothinnngggggg with my life ngl. Being 22 and unemployed is a total nightmare. Wish my brain worked lol. I'm just an eensy teensy bit delusional so I deadass can't leave my house alone because I'm being watched by secret cameras or something idek. Shit spooks me so I just stay inside B)) I've been on a waitlist for therapy for like 2? Years now I think. I haven't had any mental help since I saw a college therapist (before I dropped out) and he sucked so bad. I'd be like yah I'm missing most of my lectures because I'm sobbing and dry heaving in the bathrooms and he'd be like "take off your socks and walk on the grass~" like. OK gross no. I hope I get a good therapist soon because I'm like. Barely hanging on. But that's kinda dark so moving onnn lolol. I guess I've turned into a total NEET? And I've accidentally lost a bunch of weight because I can't afford my own food n stuff. I think I'm genetically predisposed to being mentally fucked because my granduncle was like me, and he ended up dying after not leaving his bedroom for 30 years. I worry I'll end up like him because going outside is getting harder and harder aaaaaa. Not to mention I can't even go anywhere anyway because I can't afford public transport,, I'm on a phone contract too and my phone company keeps calling me because I'm months behind on my bills but I deadass don't have a way to pay. I hate seeing people like "oh people on benefits are lazy and people lie to get on disability" when I've tried to get disability twice now and been denied both times because I'm not sick enough. Like dude I don't want to live like this, if I was physically capable of working a job without freaking out and scaring everyone around me I would. 

Ugh whatever I'm just whining now lol