diary kinda

hi, my name is eilis and im 17 years old, lately i dont really feel real, everything i say to people is like water off a ducks back

i think people are starting to dislike me, my habbits might be a reason, smoking isn’t nice i get it but labeling as a druggie has changed my entire life, i had friends i had a life i loved a girl, now i cant even seem to keep the girl i like away from others 

i take late night walks to see if it will ever calm my nerves, it doesn’t, it never does, all i can think is what a failure i am or why im such a shitty person sometimes 

i get hurt when im told i’m a bad person 

sometimes i dont even know wht i feel and i just vomit up feelings

all i look forward too is my smoking habit 

(pd:vomit = saying random things) 

heres some pics