life update (that no one asked for)

decided to break up a friendship of a few months yesterday and oh god i feel so much lighter!!!!

it was getting unhealthy too fast and damn i'm not up to deal with this shit anymore. i kinda feel super mature for this but the reason that was the last straw for me is kinda.. stupid i'd say lmao.

she always spoke shit about things i love (and i never complained because i'm a people pleaser) and whenever i say i don't like anything she likes that much i get a ultra "HOW DARE YOU!?!?!?!" lecture like... c'mon now..

ugh and whenever she wanted to play or somthing i HAD to there for her, but when i wanted to she was too tired or wanted to play for a small bit and after switch for something she likes better...

really i'm sooo fucking glad i'm done with this. i have to promise myself to only start friendships with people 20+ because omfg i think i'm unemployed and entitled enough to deal with you know...

also i just simply couldn't express my preference for a ship over one she loved... like really stupid shit i couldn't dislike some (super forced and tasteless) yuri and yaoi ships on fucking genshin impact??? like bro there's so many good ships and you really decide to like the ones with wheat flour taste? anyways

unfortunately i'm unable to join any family premium plans on spotify for a year and had to create another account to be able to join another (long time) friend's and i'm so bummed out by this. i'm glad to have last.fm to at least not lose my previous track. my wrapped this year boutta be shit tho...

i'm really happy lately anyways. i finally entered the papers to get my antidepressants! i'll be getting them on the 18th of april (i believe). i still have to enter the papers to do some more exams and i have to deal with a paper i didn't enter correctly when i had a breakdown going alone. i'm glad i have free healthcare but everything takes so long and my psychiatrist apparently doesn't know this lol, she asks for things to be done and is surprised i don't have the results on our next appointment (2mths later).

lately i've been getting into 20s fashion a lot, and by a lot i mean really a lot. it's funny because i'm watching rupaul's drag race (as i do each year with friends) and one of the queens has a flapper style!!!! every time she does a look and i recognize where she got the refs i just melt!!!! her name is Suzie Toot!!! she's amazing, however i feel like Jewels Sparkles out-flappered her on the Betsey Johnson challenge!!!! argh i love their looks so bad omgghgkjhgkg i feel like rolling around just by typing and remembering them. 

generally i feel like i'm in a far better mood than usual, which is great! i think the last time i cried was during the oscars (before taking my meds) because i had a micro fight with my boyfriend and i just got super mad that i cried lol. AND OHHHH THE OSCARSSS, i hate anora lmao. it's funny to comment this because most of this site doesn't even have age to watch this movie. but really it is soooooo bad. i had just watched I'm Still Here with my boyfriend and oh god what a fucking movie. both of us cried and bro, i NEVER see him cry for absolutely anything. i was sobbing nonstop from the middle to the end oh. people really need to watch it... like not even just brazilian propaganding now just really people should watch it.

oh yeah i need to update my stamps on my pfp! i got diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder/bipolar type 1. gotta say it really is great to know what i have and a way to just research about it! i really hope the antidepressant works well. it's quetiapine btw, it'll be paired with lithium.

i think that's all i'll write. just needed to vent a bit lol.

xoxo!!