Im writing this because i wanted a free space to share my feelings without any of my relatives can see them, just strangers on the internet and because the internet its not longer a separate space where u can just put it to rest, because it is in everything, but maybe this can be that or a version of that.

I have a crush 

Its a boy of around my age, but he dont seem interested in me, we are kiinda friends but i dont think he wants to talk to me anymore or with the semi frequency before i just ruin everything up. Its not that he despise me but its just being polite and its seem that he dont want to do have anything to with me anymore.

I feel like this everytime i end a chat with him, 

since he just put me out of his close friends of instagram, maybe was nothing but im starting to understand people more so maybe this is just like he telling kme something, in the other hand its hard to me tryiging to make mov e with people that i like, because im autistics and the only way to my mind grasping things if its the person its like a sim and i knw exactly what would make them like me. 

Maybe im just driping to much of my mind here, but that is, its kinda sad that i never had luck with love but its okay ig uess people always tell me you are gonna get a boyfriend someday, but i have this scary feeling of not getting a boyfriend ever. 

I just want a kiss and a boyfriend ofr a while and i wouldnt be so annoying.

So closing thoughs 

im watching "Denshe otoko" a japanense film from 2005, that is i seem a an adapatation of a cult classic idk if it is  a book or the manga but those exist there.

(Still from the film)

Itss been really fun and stupid, tending to be aa lot 2000s which i really like, the 2000s aesethic of internet maybe was everytiing. Im adding a link to one of my favourite pulp song :-) "Pink Glove" from their album "His And Hers". Really lovely, thanks for reading.

Goodbye :-)