Venting I guess.

Well I have never thought about writing this for strangers but anyways.

I have fallen for someone I shouldn't have fallen for, this is not the first time this happens with them. 

Although I can't stop thinking of him, at the same time I want to stop have feelings for him, but this won't happen because he's all I want and everything I like in someone. He just doesn't like me back nor wants a relationship but he still treats me like he wants me or has feelings for me, then some time passes by and he becomes rude and dry. He just lovebombs me and that hurts.

I get jelous of stupid things and I just can't help it but feel ashamed of myself and feel that I am not enough for him or for anyone.

People say that a person can't make you happy or love doesn't make you happy, but it does for ME. All of my life I've been around people in love, couples without toxicity, people gifting valentine gifts for their partners. And I'm just there, watching and thinking that I will never be loved the way I like, I just want someone that understands me and wants a future with me, no breakups, no toxic traits, something reciprocal. I just wish that special one appears from the darkest moment of my life and tells me everything I'd like to hear.

Thanks for listening I guess, have a nice day pals!!