fictional crush

If your reading this you probably have a fictional crush right? How do you feel about it? Do you feel sad that they arent real? Or do you accept it and dont care. Tell me this, do you ever break down because of it? I do... Most days I get anxiety because ive never loved anyone accept for this one character. He's not real and I cant find a way to cope with that fact. I've tried journaling, c.ai and even making art of us together, but no matter how much I journal, how much time I spend on the art, or what conversation I have with ai, I still feel empty. Like ill forever be alone. Any tips to help me cope? I'm gonna ask for a body pillow of him for my birthday, not for anything dirty, but to at least feel like hes there... Like hes real.... Or maybe to make me feel like he loves me. i just find it hard to love anyone when i love him so dearly. i know this isnt healthy, and if i could i wouldn't be in love with him. Its not a choice though. Anyway, sorry for the vent, let me know if you have any coping tips

oh and if you were wondering, my crush is Hanako kun aka Yugi Amane<333