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i feel i've come to realize how fast life can be compromised
so. i ended up getting covid. i've spent this whole pandemic simultaneously being terrified of getting it and also absolutely convinced i wouldn't. i was like, "i'm gonna be one of those people who come out of this without ever having it." but then i got it. and i have no idea where it came from! we did everything right.. i've barely had a life for a year.. but when something is meant to happen it finds a fuckin' way, doesn't it?
heres how it went down: it was friday the 5th of this month, i ate dinner around 830 and i know i tasted it. the food was good. well, no it wasn't, because it was fucking taco bell. the last thing i tasted... was goddamn fucking taco bell!! and hey no hate but let's be real, if i knew that was gonna be essentially my last meal i'd have chose something a lil more fulfilling.. but i digress. a couple hours later i felt slightly congested but i took a claritan and it felt like it was helping. i assumed i had a lil allergy flare up because it had just snowed and was nice out that day, and sunny winter days have definitely given me lil bit of sniffles before. so still no cause for alarm.
i will always be sad over the way i discovered that it was covid. it was around 1am that same night. i was talking to my boyfriend who i already hadn't seen in a lil over a week at that point, and i remembered i have one of his shirts under my pillow. i was like, i miss you so much i'm gonna take a big whiff of that shirt so i can pretend you're here (he smells so good and im weird ok dont look at me)... and there was nothing. no smell. NOTHING. i instantly knew that wasn't good, because there's no way all the smell had dissipated from his shirt that quickly. i tried to calm down and convince myself it was because i was congested, but i knew i've never lost my smell like this before, stuffy nose or not. i grabbed the closest smelly thing near my bed, which was my weed haha, and it smelled like NOTHING!! i took a sip of my baja blast from earlier. it was flavorless. that's when i truly started to panic because this has never happened to me with any other sickness, and sure enough, it's one of the most common symptoms of covid, as we all know.
i got the nose swab the next day and it confirmed what i already knew. i cried, i ranted, i was so fucking scared especially because i didn't feel that sick yet but i almost knew what was coming. i'm relatively youngish, and in moderately okay health, but still, this shit is new and unpredictable and here i was, helpless and at the mercy of whatever was about to happen.
for two days i was okay. i slept a lot and i couldn't even tell if it was the covid or the depression, but it was probably both. one of those nights though i was so nauseous i was just laying in bed with my eyes closed saying no no no no no to myself because it would NOT go away. then the shortness of breath started and lasted about 4-5 days. it was so fucking scary because it would be semi okay in the morning, and as the day went on i would just gasp more and more. by the time i was ready for bed i was terrified to go to sleep because i felt like i was gonna suffocate and not wake up. but it never actually got to the point where i felt like i needed to go to the ER. i was always just on the edge of fully not being able to breathe, but i knew that i was doing alright without medical help. two of those days i also had a low grade fever that came and went then finally left for good. then slowly on days 8-10 i started to catch my breath. the fever never returned. then i had another couple days of malaise and exhaustion, before i decided this was partially a mental block from being sick and depressed and stuck in my house. today, i felt okay. i knew i stopped being sick two ish days ago but today i actually felt like a person again. i saw my brother and we hung out at his place for a bit and then i accompanied him while he doordashed tonight. it was actually really fucking fun, just cruisin around feeling the fresh air and actually hanging out with someone again. best believe i'm gonna take advantage of these antibodies for a couple weeks while i can hahaha.
overall, i definitely had a mild/moderate case. even throughout the shortness of breath and the fever, i STILL maintain the loss of smell and taste was/is the worst part. obviously some people with more severe symptoms won't agree, but for me it was the worst. losing those senses literally made me feel inhuman. i have some of my smell back, but only if it's a strong scent, and my taste is still completely MIA. it's so beyond depressing because i LOVE to cook. i love it. it's one of the things i do best. i can't cook if i can't taste or smell. i mean i can cook some things obviously, but not any extensive recipes that you need to taste throughout.. ugh. i also love smelling good smells. candles, incense, perfume, lotion, my boyfriends shirts :'( i would personally honestly take lasting lung damage over this bullshit i'm not even kidding. its seriously made me so sad. all i can do is hope they both come back completely.
i really hope i never get this shit again. i'm iffy on the vaccine.. not IN GENERAL, but just so soon. i'm kind of scared about how fast it's moving although thats actually a good thing.. i might try to wait as long as i can to get it. but i don't know, i'm still indecisive.
it does feel good to feel sort of like myself again, and i'm thankful i'm still here. staying positive is harder than ever right now, but i have to do it because it's the only thing i CAN do. it's the only thing i can really control. let's hope i have the strength to do so.
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HELLY STILETTO, High Priestess of Coffee and Wine
I had COVID in late October - early November. My sense of smell is still not quite right. :/ I hope you heal up all the way soon!
ugh, that's what i'm afraid of!! i'm thankful for the smell i do have, but yeah it's definitely not the same :( but thank you, i appreciate it!! you too!! it really is such a taxing experience :'(
by hi i like your face 2.0™; ; Report
It'll come back. Here is a recent article with a couple of videos as well that have some ideas.
https://www.wlwt.com/article/ill-try-anything-how-some-covid-19-survivors-are-learning-to-smell-again/35530233?fbclid=IwAR10paLLQa-7Nzw3wjO8Arcl6RkFeJscFCNzdfgWAswYxIEgiyfDzMHkl98#
(Sorry if the link tag doesn't work. It doesn't appear in the list of tags that can be used in comments but gave it a try anyway.
by HELLY STILETTO, High Priestess of Coffee and Wine; ; Report
thanks for sharing!! thats wild, i've actually been doing that with essential oils but i didn't know it was recommended as an actual treatment! that's awesome, i'm already a step ahead haha. i'm trying to stay positive! it's only been a couple weeks. at least my appetite is back even though i can't taste anything haha
by hi i like your face 2.0™; ; Report
I did the same thing without knowing it was a thing, too. Early on I would try to see if I could smell my EOs. Then when my scent started coming back I'd do a blind smell test to see if I could identify them. It was really wonky for a while. At one point lemon didn't smell anything like lemon, but two other of my EOs smelled like lemon! Go figure!
I even made a Tik Tok about it... hahahaha!
https://www.tiktok.com/@aylijojo/video/6900630440713981190?lang=en&is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v2
by HELLY STILETTO, High Priestess of Coffee and Wine; ; Report
isn't it so weird?? watched your vid, totally remember lavender being the first one i was able to kind of smell! eucalyptus and peppermint smelled like nothing for awhile but now those are coming back. i also had an orange extract that smelled the strongest out of all of them. the citrus/fruity smells def came back before anything else. also i think i caught a faint flavor of garlic in my dinner tonight sooo fingers crossed that's on its way back too lmao
by hi i like your face 2.0™; ; Report
I hope it all comes back soon. I am able to smell atmospheric stuff now - for a while I couldn't even smell candles burning in the house or my husband's awesome cooking as he made it unless I stuck my head over the pan. It's getting better now but it seems like it fades after the initial whif if that makes sense.
by HELLY STILETTO, High Priestess of Coffee and Wine; ; Report