i can't talk to him..

 I can't talk to him.. Not after a week of not talking to him..He should hate me, he broke up with me for a fucking reason! I'm not a good partner I'll never be a good partner why THE FUCK IS HE TRYING TO APOLOGIZE FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN'T DO?! IT'S MY FAULT HE'S SO FUCKED, I MADE HIM THE WAY HE IS EVERYTHINGS MY FAULT WHY CAN'T HE JUST HATE ME?! WHY CAN'T HE JUST HATE ME AS MUCH AS I HATE MYSELF?! IT'LL BE BETTER THAT WAY, WHY DOESN'T HE REALISE THAT?? HE'S BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME, I'M BETTER OFF DEAD! HE'D BE HAPPIER IF I WAS HIS LIFE WOULD BE BETTER IF I WAS!