Lost myself

I've lost the little girl who loved going outside I once was, now I'm always on my device as I scroll mindlessly. I miss who I once was, I miss my morality, I miss my joy, I miss the sun on my skin. I want to change but now it causes myself pain which makes me retreat. I feel so weak in my body. I look at my mother and feel pity that she helped create something like me. If I was never allowed to go on that tablet maybe I wouldn't be stuck to my phone.

But who knows at this point, I'm too far gone.