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Assalamualaikum gang! Here's Mary's Ramadan weekly update, but honestly, nothing much has happened this week.

Let’s start with the first day. So, on Sunday, I was absolutely exhausted because I had three tuitions berturut-turut. Add Math, Math, and BM. Then, from Monday to Friday, the days just passed in a blur since I didn’t have any tuition, except on Thursday when I had BM. Now, all my tuitions are crammed into the weekends. It keeps me busy, so yk what, Alhamdulillah.

But today, I had a pleasant surprise. I just started a one on one for Physics, and I love the teacher smmm. He’s friendly, he giggles with me when I do something funny, and he explains everything really well. I hope I can get an A- on my next Physics paper, not just for my teacher but for my dad too.

Honestly, this week, I feel like I didn’t do enough. I don’t want to dwell on it or regret things, but sometimes it keeps me up at night. I keep staying up late, which means I end up waking up a little late for sahur, like 10 minutes after my dad wakes me up. And I feel bad because he’s alone for those 10 minutes. It’s like I can feel time slipping through my fingers, especially this Ramadan, when everyone just rests in their rooms. I don’t spend as much time with my dad, and I hope I get to be someone he’s proud of. Not in the sense that he brags about me, but just that he feels at peace knowing all the effort he’s poured into me is going somewhere good.

I also don’t know what’s ahead of me yet. I still haven’t fully decided on my course. And lordyyy lord, why is Ramadan the prime time for people to start raving about marriage? Ya Allah, sampai my ustazah was talking to her favorite student, my classmate Fiqh, and she was literally mempromosikan anak dia, semi-melamar AHAHAHAHAH. I get it though, because Fiqh… bruv, I genuinely do doakan the best for him. Like, I hope he gets married to someone he truly deserves. But the way our ustazah keeps promoting him as a calon suami every class BAHAHAH.

Anyway, back to the marriage talk. Obviously, I’m not thinking about it too much because I have the whole world to explore before even considering finding my other half. And I need to find myself first before completing the circle. Kalau ada rezeki, then kahwin lah. But for some reason, it’s been weighing on my mind a little. Like… whoa, marriage huh? If I’m lucky, maybe in 10 years, I’ll meet the love of my life, the one written for me in the stars. Funny if that guy actually ends up coming from BJ, just like my Kak Chill, who married her high school crush AHAAHHAA. JODOH AM I RIGHT.

Anyway, I think I just rambled about everything and nothing at all. Kesimpulannya, I just want to say that I’m absolutely craving pizza right now. I need my weekly dose of white people food. Minta maaf la, sa ni putih washed sikit. Been eating lauk Melayu for too long. Meaning, less than a week.

Okay, but for some reason, my dreams this Ramadan have been next-level weird. I don’t even know what’s going on in my subconscious, but it’s definitely working overtime. I think it's cos of too much Add Math input. I do not remember all, cos trust, there’s a lot. But I remember some la.

First dream. Somehow, I was a doctor. Not just any doctor, but the doctor. Apparently, I became famous for keeping my hospital running smoothly, and next thing I knew, the Sultan wanted to interview me. Like, I was sitting there in my white coat, nodding seriously while thinking, what did I even do to get here? It was giving drama, it was giving prestige, it was giving intelligent, hardworking, and mysterious. And then poof bangun dah. Actually, I don’t remember if it ended like that or if I dreamt some more.

Next, I was riding the fastest motorbike ever, like bapak laju siak. Zooming through the streets like I was in an action movie. I felt like Catwoman—wind in my hair, speeding through segala lorry, no thoughts, just vroom vroom merempit bagai. Then, somehow, I ended up in a bank. IDK how. But instead of robbing it like a proper Catwoman, I just went into the vault and fell asleep. Like full on nap time in a secured vault. What was the reason? No idea. But I slept good good.

Then there was this dream. Lord have mercyyyy. This one ada a vibe. You know that feeling you get in your gut when something's off, but you can't quite put your finger on it? Yeah, that. I was at D'Bayu, but at the same time, I was also at Radia don’t even ask how that worked. And apparently, I had a stalker? Like, that was what I clocked. The awareness hit me, like, oh yeah, someone's after me. So, naturally, I went into Radias library because… I don’t know, I guess dream-me thought it was a safe space. Spoiler: twas not. The place was empty. Dead silent. Not a single soul in sight. My alarm bells were ringing. And just as I turned around, bomboclattt the stalker was right there. Just standing. Staring. Saying nothing. Then boomshakalaka, suddenly I was at my home’s taman. No transition, no explanation. Just jump cut to safety like my brain decided, yeah, that’s enough fear for the night.

And finally… this one. The last dream I remember. It was Jamuan Raya. Everything was going well, vibes were immaculate, food was fooding. Then, some kind of commotion broke out. I have no clue what it was about, but people were gathering, getting all riled up. Did I bother to check? Absolutely not. I had priorities. I was too busy sneaking food from other classes. And then… out of nowhere… guess who asked me for a photo. mus. I was caught off guard, didn’t see it coming. Like, huh? But all he did was stand there. And then I woke up. No clue what that was about.

OKAY, CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO PUT THIS IN. So this actually happened to me, and I still can’t get over it.

I got in line for perhimpunan, right on time so of course, I ended up at the very back. Regine was in front of me, and we were just casually bersembang, but she suddenly started ducking a bit. I thought it was a bee or something, but then it was a small butterfly. Or, in Regine’s words, a moth. And guess where it landed? Right on top of my head!

Now, I was anxious asfff. Regine was giggling, asking how she was gonna swat it off me. But for some reason, I just told her, no need. I don’t even know why, but I felt like… it was meant to be. Like, let the butterfly rest sat, kesian dia. So I stood there, heart pounding, asking her every minute if its still there because I was lowkey terrified it would crawl onto my face. But after a while, I actually started to chill. and I also asked Regina for a mirror so I could see it for myself. it was a small, very cute, light brown Butterly. like tinyy.

And honestly? I miss you butterfly. It just felt nice to have something there, to feel like it chose to stay with me. Like it liked me and didn’t mind my presence. Wah, tiba-tiba deep eh.

Okay okay, this time it’s actually the end. Kesimpulannya, a lot actually happened this week—just had to refresh sikit. Hihi okay, Assalamualaikum and love y'all! and see y'all at the next update.