i like music - #9

i currently got ingydar by adrianne lenker on as im typing this and i cant help but think about myself halfway through 7th grade, when i first realized that no one could see my headphones through my hair, so i could listen to music all day, and no one would know.

that was a really big day, since i realised that i never went back, i have music playing every school day, non stop, ive listened to so many songs, ive make like 30+ playlists, spotify premium literately saved my life        i think i forgot my headphones once this school year, i remember nothing of that day, its blocked out of my brain like a traumatic event, i cant really imagine how i made it through elementary and 6th grade with no music, i remember there was an event at my elementary school when i was in 4th grade, i dont know what it was but me and my parent were there and we were walking down that halls, i think we were leaving, and one girl i though was really funny, elanor, saw my walking past and  said hi, another girl who i hated, pauline, said hi to me too, then anglea (i think that was her name) said hi, then a boy joaquin said hi, i was really tired of saying hi at that point so i was acting a bit pouty, and my mom noticed and she though it was really funny how i had so many friends, and didnt seem to really like saying hi to them. 

i dont have that many friends now, the only 'friend' i have at my school i find really annoying even though shes really nice. and my other friend, well call her 'garf', she goes to a different school, we talk really often and are non stop sending eachother reels/tiktoks but i miss her a lot, on the first day of 6th grade i saw her and thought she looked really cool, i liked her shirts and i liked her hair, it wasent till halfway through 8th grade art i spoke to her, well she spoke to me technically,        there were 4 people at out table, two girls who were better friends with eachother then they were to me or garf, i knew one of them, she was nice, the three of them mostly stuck to themselves and never really spoke to me          we had one assingment where we had to get into teams of two, the two other girls got together and i got paired with garf, after that assingment the teacher rearanged the desks and now we had to sit in rows, i sat at the very end, garf was next to me, and the two girls next to her. she didnt really speak to them as much, she was talking to me, all the time, we never really did any assingments anymore, we were just playing, and talking, and doing really anything we wanted to, that was the only class we ever had together, so we started hanging out during lunch, but lunch was observed by teachers, so we started sneaking out of lunch, so it was just us, in the theater room, in the bathroon, in the hallways, where ever we could stay for 45 minuets, i miss her a lot, she had other friends, so she dosent miss me as much, but i think she still misses me, she invites me over all the time, if she has any events like someones birthday or a holiday she invites me, usually only me, sometimes we dont do anything and just hangout for a bit. i really miss her. but i can still send her reels, and go to her house on weekends.

got a bit off topic, i like music

3-7-25 2:32

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