Report Blog Entry
The love of the mundane
I have found myself wanting more from this life in recent time, when I think about it I have felt this way for quite awhile. I have been trying to find a purpose so desperately that maybe it has deceived me completely. Perhaps there is no purpose and we just get to exist at this very moment in time.
I get to exist at a time where everything I could ever want to know or listen to is a couple of clicks away on a smartphone. So because of that I have been listening to Ryo Fukui a lot recently. The Scenery album is amazing and has kept me company on many nights while I draw or write out my thoughts in my journal. The song “I Want To Talk About You” holds such a special place in my heart and will probably always be my favourite song of his. It’s the kind of song that I have on while I am cooking dinner for me and my partner, the night sky has fallen and the rain is lightly tapping our window. I’m prepping our plates while the candle on the table burns bright and the room fills with the smell of vanilla, good food and the love of a mundane task.
I think thats where this is all going, the love of a mundane task. The simple life. I think this is something I want to keep exploring in future entries and maybe I can rope in some personal experiences too for good measure. I have felt so deflated by the everyday tasks but maybe that idea of “I’m above this” has given me a sense of entitlement. The kind of entitlement that has left me feeling sore in my ego when I only get 20 likes on a new art post when really I should be grateful the same 20 people continue to show their support to me.
My silly idea of success
The idea of success I have in my head is a twisted one and I never used to measure success in my work by the amount of likes I received online but by how much joy and happiness it brought me to make the piece. Sometimes it brought me happiness just to create something that helped me to work through my own internal struggles.
Recently I have noticed that when I use my phone I use it for all the wrong reasons. I spend too much time scrolling on TikTok and Instagram reels in a never ending cycle of “doom scrolling”. I have made conscious efforts in the last few months to try and stop this negative behaviour through purchasing a dumb phone but I need a total overhaul. I need to be ok with boredom and the exciting opportunities it may bring. I am still unlearning my bad habits and even after I post this entry I will probably fall down another rabbit hole but knowing that and recognising it is the first step to stopping.
(Edit: While proofreading this entry I used my phone to look up a topic and ended up scrolling for 5 minutes haha)
I think I have said enough for now, I hope you enjoyed my little musing on life right now and maybe you see yourself in that reflection too. I will hopefully keep this going whenever I get a chance but at least the first entry is done.
I hope you have a great day and a wonderful life.
<3 Stevie <3
Comments
Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
SuperSugoi_Zelda!
this year ive been trying to use my phone for social media less too, its going fine but i keep falling back into the same habit of doomscrolling for hours before i go to bed. I would really enjoy getting a fliphone that you can only use for texting and calling but i dont have that kind of money rn. Also the part about having to learn that being bored is ok really opened someting for me, ive thought about stuff like this a lot recently but, somehow, i dont think it really hit me untill i read that, thanks!