06/03/2025 - highlights

second day of school and unbearable heat SURVIVED

feeling HAPPY WITH MYSELF, directioned and full of strength. had a conversation with the very troublesome classmate who unwittingly set me on this path, and realized i feel a more genuine connnection with her as a person than to the people i'd normally call my best friends at school. "classmate" describes our relationship better though. maybe with a different but deeper and more meaningful to me connection than "school friends".

THINGS I DID ON PURPOSE TODAY

•   UNDERSTOOD THE ENTIRE EXPLANATION of a math topic first thing in the morning despite me being sleepy and the teacher being famed for making her classes confusing and distracting. i'm not proud about understanding per se but about how i was able to make myself concentrate and do a little push beyond to understand wtf i was looking at the many times i got distracted during the class
• starting doing a laziness-inducing assignment as soon as it was handed out and actually kept doing it until the class was over
• writing out this whole thing. good lord my brain is so slow right now
• some tiny things in the middle of the day like seeing a paper on the floor i knew was mine, not picking it up, then being like fuck it i'lll pick it up and actually doing it (gasp!)
• responded peoples' unanswered messages. especially this one of a guy asking me for recordings of a gig we went to that i was being very lazy about
• got changed to go in the pool even though i didn't especially feel like it because i needed to stop feeling Vaguely, Idly Miserable with heat (i used the pool as a metaphor to talk to my classmate earlier! i love it)
• made a groupchat with my classmate and another friend to make a proper friendship between us finally without obstacles of drama and organize a gettogether the friend wanted to do on saturday (!!!!!!)
• said to my boyfriend "i'll go brush my teeth" and DID NOT procrastinate in the middle,DID NOT get distracted in the mirror, but actually immediately stood up, brushed my teeth, came back
• and finally my personal highlight which is that i managed to avoid Behavior I Shall Not Declare Publicly the ENTIRE DAY. which hadnt happened for a very long time. be proud of me <3

OBSERVATION WITH SLIGHT EXPANSION: it's pretty weird that in old times before modern neurscience people still managed to know that brains were responsible for thinking. isn't that weird? logically, they saw what happened to people who suffered brain injuries, maybe. but still mindblowing to me that even in the 5th century BC the ancient greeks hypothesized the brain was not only responsible for thought but for coordinating the entire body's functions! well. some of them did at least. aristotle, the great thinker, knew that our bigger brains made us intellectually superior to other species... because it's obviously the organ that cools down blood, which then goes to the heart, which is where the thoughts happen. of course. this is something everyone knows by heart

QUESTION: why do people think "understand" means "side with"? wouldn't it be intuitive and good to understand how the people we don't like think, so you can save yourself trouble?