buddy

It’s that feeling again where I wanna go in a nice warm hole again and stay there for a long time…

You know, that feeling everyone gets I suppose, after being overstimulated or overwhelmed by things, so I guess I’m feeling that way. Just a little overwhelmed, just want to sit and forget for a bit, sit and forget I exist cause that’s too much of a burden now,,

My universe must be very divided seeing how I get these mood swings so often, but anyway, I’m pretty sure it’s cause of earlier today I feel overwhelmed, I hung out with my best friends buddies, and they’re pretty nice and all, they didn’t do nothing bad, it’s just I wasn’t talking as much cause I wasn’t that comfortable with them yet and my buddy pointed it out like “why aren’t u talking dude ur so awkward” 

That felt super uncomfortable I guess, and I felt a mood shift in me, I went back home soon after, I felt fine, it’s just hitting me now more so cause that felt pretty bad, like I know I’m awkward sometimes but pointing it out is worse,,, I’m not talking for a reason..

Silly tiny problems, it doesn’t matter tho even if they’re small, I’m not bothering anyone to listen to this. It’s just for myself. I just wanted to talk about it, sometimes he can be kinda hurtful without knowing, but he says that’s just how he is I guess, and I say I don’t take it seriously, but it’s hard sometimes when he clearly isn’t joking and points something out in me that I’m insecure of, I don’t wanna go all “stop hurting my feelings boohoo” cause okay I understand to some extent, it doesn’t effect me that much in the moment really it just sticks to the back of my mind sometimes, and I suppose that makes me kind of sensitive… I know I shouldn’t be tho, it just sticks to me when he points out exact insecurities sometimes, that’s all.