cruel school experiences..

I like school. I mean, it's the only place I go apart from my house and it's the only reason I leave my room, but sometimes it can be annoying to go from Monday to Friday.  On the way to school I feel like everyone is looking at me and laughing at me as if I were a clown, which makes me very nervous and makes my heart race and I start to shake. When I get to class, that fear goes away a bit, but then I feel like a stupid idiot for not understanding the subject. My brain doesn't focus very well on my teacher's words, but I try to pretend that I understand what he is explaining. At recess I don't have any friends to be with, so in order not to cry I go hide in the bathrooms- (that was a bad idea because many times girls would bother me and throw things at me that fell on my head) and when I left a group of boys from another grade bothered me with jokes about wanting to take advantage of me I know I'm not pretty but I wish all those things would stop I stopped attending school and changed 2 times but everything remained the same. I don't understand why everyone makes fun of me I don't know why my presence and my voice bother them so much. I don't ask to be treated excellently but I just want to be treated like a human being  I think some people forget that I'm not an object or a thing, I'm a person like them, I don't understand what's wrong with me but my only wish is that one day I can be socially loved and that I will not be humiliated at school again :)