O, To Feel Loved

I begged for the simple satisfaction of

feeling loved.

I cried to you.

Praying,

Mourning,

Just simply trying to get you to understand.

But, I shouldn't have expected so much of 

so

little of you.

Now that it has clicked,

I truly don't feel loved.

I think of how others have treated me;

my ex lovers,

my friends,

my parents.

O, I have gave so much of my love to

passing strangers that I no longer feel loved.

The love I had for myself drifts away into a 

cold abyss.

You have never made me feel loved.

You stole my love for your own values.

My love taken by a thief on a dark, gloomy

night.

Now, I have finally met someone who seems

to be true.

If is truly true, I know not yet

He says I am loved,

but you ripped my heart apart in ways his

works cannot fix.

O, how I wish his words could fix me,

gluing each bit of me back together 'til I am

whole again.

I am a burdened pushed on him by your and

your crudeness.

He makes me start to breath again,

slipping back in the oxygen you so violently

stole

from my aching lungs.

I worry he will see how broken I really am,

how he can't fix me like they do in the 

movies.

I am unfixable.

You made me unfixable.

You dropped me on the hard concrete and

shattered my soul into a billion little pieces,

and when you don't think it can get worse,

you stomped on me until I was

unsweepable.

You made me unsweepable.

'Til I was no longer able to be picked back

up again.

Left in the basement we fell in love in.

Why can't I feel loved.

"O, but I love you so dearly,"

but I don't feel it.

Help me feel it.

Do the things I had to beg you to do,

the things I told you made me feel loved.

It is far too late now,

This poor boy I now love and would give my

life for does the things I told you I needed to

feel loved.

But it is far too late now,

because now I feel

so, so unlovable to begin with.