Hello! This is my first blog so it may be a little bit chaotic (sorry!) ( •_•) 

Introduction

I'm Alex, a 17 year old student! I like art, design, videogames and everything colorful. 

my favorite artist is Ijistwannahavefun and my favorite show is the Pokemon sun and moon series (also my favorite region in Pokemon!). Right now my favorite video game is the Sims 4! It's so much fun and I'm thinking about making a new save for the Slendermansion lol. Tho my favorite web games is devilish hairdresser.

To the main topic

Bullying. 

I got bullied throughout elementary school and high school (1-10 grade). Everyday. 

No help. No concern. The teachers didn't really do anything aside from talking to the bullies every now and then. I don't even think they informed the parents. I came home crying until I got desensitized to the bullying. It was just a daily thing for me. Even my parents didn't care anymore after a few years. 

I don't even know why I was being bullied. I'm not ugly. I'm not fat. There's nothing to be ashamed of about me unless you count my interest. Even when I asked directly why they would only laugh at me.  (,,•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ,,)? And the bullies had no reason to be jealous of me, they were popular and had good grades. They were pretty too so why target me? It's not like I talked to anyone much. My grades took the worst hit, I was a B and C student before and then I only had D and E's.

All those years of being shoved, laughed at, ridiculed and kicked... For no reason? Just for fun? I ask myself this a lot actually. Why would someone do something for no reason? Especially something so cruel. Or was I just a toy? A fun little thing to throw around and destroy just for fun? Well I will never know, after all I don't want any contact with those... People. 

One of my bullies tried to apologize to me after we left highschool actually. I didn't mean much since they put it as "teasing" (and since they apologized a thousand times without meaning it). Ironically that one was very heavily Catholic. 

Do you know how hard it is to recover from bullying even with a good home life? 

Since I graduated high school I've been trying to find who I am. What's my favorite color? Idk. My favorite animal? Idk. My favorite style? Idk. I have so many questions that are unanswered since I lost my freedom to develop my own complete personality. I hate wearing a lot of things because the bullying. It's like I can still feel their eyes on me and hear their mocking laughter. It’s haunting me.

Well now I’m 17, a student studying with 19-20 year olds. And somehow it’s…peaceful? No bullying, not even drama, just…peace? I was perplexed when I realized I didn’t need to worry about bullying or anything like that in my new school, like people can exist…without hurting others? That was a whole new concept for me. And to think before I was worried about meeting the same fate again, hilarious. 

I finally have the freedom to explore myself. I don’t need to cling to a person and copy their likelihood to fly under the radar just a little bit more anymore. It’s…amazing! I feel so much better. It’s like I can finally breathe freely.

I’ve been enjoying my old interests again. I’m slowly dressing how I want. I’m not confined anymore! I still don’t have friends but who cares?! Im free! I’m not the weirdo that gets bullied anymore, I’m just a weirdo now! 

End

Idk if the blog made much sense or not. I just needed to get this out of my system since I only have my parents and dog to talk to lol. I’m still looking for friends but I don’t mind if it takes longer to find the right ones.

P.S: don’t let bullies get you down. I might not understand why they do what they do but it’s probably a bs reason anyway.

P.S.S: is it weird to dump this in my first blog? (・・;)ゞ also sorry if the grammar is wrong, English is my second language.