micro-fiction monday: march 3

sry, dingus mcbingus over here forgot to push the publish button

cw: description of a car crash, helplessness, retail service jobs

“Thank you for calling Your Home Fix-It, my name is Aubrey, just have to let you know–“

“Hi, I was just wondering if you had anymore of the Barcelona Mosaic tiles in stock?”

“So, I just have to let you know this call is being recorded for quality assurance and training purposes, okay?

“Sure.”

“Okay, so you said tiling?” 
“The Barcelona Mosaic,” she corrected me. “I got in it the colour SeaGlass…”

My day had basically just been this in a loop.  Being the new guy, I’d picked the “short straw” to handle cash and phones while the Geoff sorted the warehouse shipment. I couldn’t really complain though, he had to start at eight, while my shift didn’t start until ten.  It did mean that he got to leave at four while I was stuck until six.  But, it was a Tuesday, it wasn’t like there was going to be a five o‘clock rush.  I could basically play on my phone and answer calls for the out of town orders when they called after Geoff left.

“Thanks for calling Your Home Fix-It, this call is being recorded for quality assurance and training purposes. My name’s Aubrey, what can I help you with?”

“Hi Audrey,” Not my name, but close enough.  At least this guy hadn’t me off mid-spiel. “I was wondering if you had any quarter by half inch socket cap screws.”

“Uh,” I jostled open a drawer by my feet.  Success. “Yep, looks like we got quite a few.” 
“Thank Christ, everywhere else’s sold out.  I’ll be there in 20, can you hold uh…. let’s say eight, can you hold eight for me?”

I looked left, looked right.  The store was empty. I did not fear that the half by quarter inch socket caps were in much danger.

“Sure can, sir.  What’s your name?” 
“John.”

“Alright, John.  Eight 1/2x1/4” socket caps with your name on ‘em. Anything else I can do for you?” I could hear the sound of his truck starting over the line.

“Nope, that’ll be fine, thanks.  See you soon.”

The afternoon passed much to this effect.  John came for his eight socket cap screws, as promised.  Nothing much notable from that.  Until around half past five. Thirty minutes to close.

“Thanks for calling, you’ve reached Your Home Fix-It, my name is Aubrey, just have to tell you that the call’s being recorded for quality assurance and training purposes.”

The line sat silent for a moment.

“Hello?”

There was sniffling at the other end of the line.

“Hello?!” 
Butt dial, I figured. I lifted the phone from my ear to end the call when a tinny voice responded.

“No, please don’t hang up.”

“Oh, sorry about that.  Must’ve had a bad connection for a second.”

The voice at the other end of the line laughed sardonically, “Yeah, must’ve.”

“What can I help you with?”

“What did you say your name was again?”


“I’m Aubrey.”

“I’m Laney.”

Okay, weird. Normally we get these types of call from old folks who don’t have anyone to talk to so they just call stores to yap with the employees.  Laney sounded young, like thirties or forties.

“What can I help you with, Laney?”

Over the line, I could hear more sniffling.

“Aubrey.  My car’s on the side of the road, upside-down.  I’m in it, and my leg is trapped.  My car can only redial who I last called, which I thought was my husband, but it turns out it’s you.”

“Oh my God, are you alright?”

The voice laughed again, “Well, to be honest, I’ve been better.”

“Where are you, I’ll call an ambulance.”

“I’m just north of Highway 34, on Victoria, but don’t hang up.  Can you get someone else to call?”

I looked around the store, hopelessly.  Geoff had left almost two hours ago.

“I’ll call on my cell phone.  How’s that?”

Laney’s sigh of relief was palpable.

“Thank you.”

The call to EMS was, unusual.  I think the dispatcher was trying to figure out if I was doing a prank call.  I put Laney on speaker to explain.  She sounded out of breath. The EMS dispatcher said I should keep her talking as much as possible, and that EMS was on their way.

“Your voice is familiar… were you the Barcelona tile lady?”

Laney laughed.  “Guilty.  SeaGlass, with the gloss finish.”

“That sounds nice. I’m more of a matted Quartzite man, myself.  But I respect the hustle.”

Laney laughed again. “It’s for our kitchen. Tyler doesn’t love it, but I don’t think he sees my vision for it.”  The laugh cut off abruptly.  “You said the call is being recorded right?”

“Uh, yeah, for quality assurance.  We don’t like, listen back to them or anything.”

“Can I leave a message, for my husband? On the recording?”

“Laney, the paramedics are almost there, you don’t need to–” I scolded.

“Please, just in case.”

“Sure, yeah, go ahead.”

“Tyler, I love you.  I just wanted you to hear that from me.  You were right that I should’ve paid extra for the better features on the Mazda, the redial button is doing me dirty right now.  When you buy me a new car, make sure it has a nice touch screen or something in case another stupid deer runs in front of me again.  Uh, yeah.  I love you a lot.  Hopefully I’m being silly and no one ever hears this message but just in case, I love you.  I love you.”

I gave her a minute to collect herself.

“You still there, Aubrey?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Thank you, for that.”

“Yeah.”

I heard Laney groan and shift.

“Doing okay over there?”

“I think the adrenaline’s wearing off. Ouch.”

“Try not to move too much. Just uh, tell me about your day.  Where were you driving to?”

“I was going home, after work.  I work at…”

“Laney?” 
“Yeah?" 
“You were telling me about your job?”

“Oh.  I’m a marketing coordinator in Milton.” Her voice sounded dream-like.  I didn’t think she was still all there.

“Cool, I’m in school for marketing.  How do you find the industry?”

Silence.

“Laney?”

Nothing.

“Laney?”

I could hear sirens in the background arriving.

“Laney?  You can hear that right? The paramedics are here.  You’re going to be okay, Laney, they’re coming.  Just hold on for another little bit, Laney, they’ll get you out, okay?  Just keep listening to m–“