how is it done?

gonna get real vulnerable here– i took a class on science fiction and philosophy and it really opened my eyes to how media really affects me, i love to sink my teeth into themes and meanings in everything i watch, read, play, or experience otherwise from media, and yet i always feel like i'm just scratching the surface sometimes like i don't think i've done enough to really put my weight into analysing media to the level i want to yet

on the other hand, trying to say that i like doing things like that feels pretentious to say out loud: "oh yeah, i really like talking about the philosophies, metaphors, and deeper themes of the media i like" like omg you're not a vibe

but even then, that feels like a disservice to my own feelings. as if i'm not begging on my knees for people to be earnest about the things they like; like, why bother holding yourself at arm's length thinking you're holier than thou about enjoying media so deeply and really thinking about it and all its pieces, as if that isn't what art is made for? it just feels silly to say that it's something i deeply enjoy doing, as if it's a hobby and not just something that works intrinsically within you, or at least should, every time you read a book or watch a movie, or what have you, etc.