Do I have autism or am I just faking it?

1741299089

I can relate to you here. Although I was officially diagnosed as a toddler, I've begun to wonder if the doctors were correct or if they were wrong and if I instead just have inattentive ADHD or whatever (I'm pretty sure my partial deafness until the age of 2 from a fluid and wax buildup in my ears that I eventually had to have surgically suctioned out contributed to the diagnosis at least partially).

I definitely don't seem to fit the stereotype that most people think of when it comes to autism, not even when it comes to the older DSM-IV diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. I am a cisgender woman who has several friends that I hang out and text with regularly, a very strong and highly vivid imagination (so strong, I've gotten in trouble for daydreaming in the middle of class on a pretty regular basis as a kid in elementary and middle school), care highly about and put lots of effort into my looks and appearance, love wearing tight, body hugging clothing, etc. I'm almost the exact opposite of the stereotype that most people associate with such a term (except maybe for being oddly hyperfocused on certain topics of interest, being wickedly great at reading and could ace any spelling test without even needing to study as a kid, and feeling the sun's ultraviolet rays burn my hazel vampire eyes the same way it does to my pale vampire skin).

I've met several diagnosed and suspected individuals on the spectrum throughout my life (of all sorts of varying severity and functioning levels) and of all of those people whom I've met so far, only a small handful are like me (more so for the suspected but not yet diagnosed or ruled out cases and only an even smaller handful of officially diagnosed people that even I would also doubt are actually on the spectrum but perhaps also misdiagnosed, and perhaps quite importantly, most of all of the individuals in both groups are also people assigned female at birth like myself).

Hell, I was even considering writing a blog post on this exact same topic as you did here. All I know for certain is that I am an oddball of some sort, that's for sure. But regardless of the case, it sure seems to have led to my rebellious and creative personality forming the way it did and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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1741103399

I feel that 100% (●´⌓`●) I have just finished going through the process of a diagnosis, the ideal would have been LONG SESSIONS, a friend of mine had 3 6hours sessions, and imo that's way better to actually observe you, catch where you ''slip'' yk?

I had 10-12 sessions that were 30 minutes each, it was mostly testing my IQ/pattern recognition +1 or 2 tests that actually involved my personality, and that was very annoying, tho I know she was also observing how I answer and whatnot, it was just tiring and I don't think she could see a lot with such short time.
Between each session id also be wondering if I don't ''suffer enough'' to have autism, or that I'm faking it (even if I do stuff when I'm alone), and personally I am mostly surrounded by neurodivergent people, I DONT KNOW WHAT IS ''TYPICAL''. I also got like 2 different psychiatrists telling me ''that sounds like autism'' and thats how I eventually went about starting the diagnosis, and even then I doubt myself a lot.

You don't NEED a diagnosis to be autistic, so if its something you're okay with, you don't need to prove it, a lot of people don't since that can affect you negatively (work wise, infantilization). I personally need that diagnosis so I can at least stop doubting myself and if thats the case with you I hope you manage to get it. I get my diagnosis on the 10th and I still don't know what that piece of paper will say OTL

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1741063720

Haha, I am in a similar situation lol. Someone made an offhand comment about them thinking I'm autistic, I then asked a bunch of the people I knew what they thought and almost all them agreed in thinking I'm autistic. I still don't really want to say I am without getting it diagnosed as well

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1741043341

I understand you sweetie!! I'm autistic and before I received my diagnosis I thought I wasn't really autistic and I thought it was just my "problems", it's really really bad to think about that!!
From what you said, it's very likely that you really are autistic, I recommend you do the 15k consultation if you CAN PAY, as it will probably give more detailed and in-depth details of your diagnosis, but if you really can't afford it, the 800 consultation is also a good option anyway!! The important thing is to do the best for yourself!! <3

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1741032556

girl, im a diagnosed autistic and sometimes "im not a real autistic, im faking it" goes through my head too. i get you

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