all my poems!

[Dry Firing]  Written 23-11-2022

That night I switched the safety off

Red means dead

But as my hand pulled down on that trigger

And the butt of the rifle bumped into my cheek

Nothing came out

It was all bark and no bite

[9pm Walk Home] Written 21-11-2022

Movement across the tracks put me in self defense mode

Primal, using the darkness to my advantage 

The light of a cigarette's ember reflected off of steel

Metal sinking into sweaty palms 

A child with the thoughts of a tough guy

A scared little boy holding a tool for false security

An angry little boy who wont let anyone else walk by him 

Anyone around him would get hurt and everyone knew that

Everyone but me. 

I went to the nearest sacred grounds I could find

“Sinner, you don’t belong here”

Shrieks the false perception of a loving father

Rejected and backed into the street

I had to go far away

My name was carried through the wind 

Whispered from the alleyways 

“Don’t go down that street you’ll be swallowed whole”

I thought I'd be met by warmth, black absorbs heat

So wouldn't darkness be somewhat comforting?

I didn’t understand why I'd be met with sharp teeth. 

He was too angry to swallow me whole

He wanted to chew me up and destroy me 

His teeth tried to sink into my skin 

But he’s a little boy with a kind heart

Deep down he didn’t want to eat me alive

That’s why he spit me out

Maybe I’m just telling myself this to feel better

Because dull blades don’t cut arteries. 

[Seasonal] Witten 17-11-2022

Leave me before winter, 

Before I have lost everything

Every last piece of me torn off and thrown away by that wind, 

That wind that stings your delicate face and starts to make your throat burn

Leave before lips chap and crack and bleed all over 

A hoarse throat and bloody mouth from screaming over and over and over

Bark makes knuckles bleed

Scrapes them raw without mercy

Delicate skin will bruise and wreck 

Just to release built up heat

Come back when its too warm like that

Come back to me and I can help cool you down

Allow me to use my shadow to protect you in the best way I can

Shadows don’t fix things

I hope mine helps even if it is barely noticeable. 

[guilt unto life] Written 08-10-2023

guilt will consume me from the inside 

growing within my cavernous lungs 

each time i breathe releasing spores 

i will grow a lush garden bustling with life

flesh decaying feeds tiny ants 

crawling 

up

my 

skin

within my kidneys is an orchard 

full of flowers and fruit

the angry wasps feast upon sugary juices

and sting 

and sting 

and sting 

within me is a lush ecosystem 

from my bowels to my brain 

beautiful life growing inside of me 

taking my own 

feeding off of my now skeletonized body

I lost my spark, I wish I could write again..