unnamed a lot of tws

 do you just ever cry so hard you are just dripping spit from your mouth and so fucking sick and you cant even fucking function you cant fucking breathe and tour ripping our your hair I cant I'm sick I cant stop I just cant ic ant I cant "I'm sorry please don't hurt yourself I love you" please actually shut the fuck up before I actually do crash out and start fuckign seizing and screaming I cant fucking stop the thoughts of just hurting myself of just seeing inside my skin to see the blood pool inside of it and drip out I don't know what to do I just fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfcukfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck I want to hurt people so I don't have to hurt myself but I cant I just want to fucking disappear maybe I shouldn't care that much because I'm not much better I'm just a fucking douche bag but I wouldn't have done that to you or maybe I would have so then maybe I don't deserve to be upset and hurt and I just I want to break things I want to see things fucking break I need a drink I need an edible or something because chain smoking ciggirates till I throw up isn't doing it anymore I just cant not anymore how do people stay fucking sane I am laughing screaming crying right now and I feel so fucking insane how do people do this how do people just live live and keep fucking doing it every single fucking day sober or not how I cant I cant I cant I might jump off a fucking bridge because what the fuc this feeliang never leaves I'm stuck I'm so fucking stuck feeling like this forever I keep having to be this way and there's no way out there's no way out I want out I want to get out I cant fucking survive this its so fucking hard and I'm going to look back at this and be embarrassed of how sad and embarrassing this is but at this point I don't care. its time to stop feeling do fucking sad for myself and to fucking break shit because what else am I supposed to fucking what am I supposed to do because I cant just sit here in my bed cry and burn my legs over and over because that's what fucking little bicthes do so I'm going to go get fucked up or something but I'm broke so idk what to do. fuck