so what.. if I don't get in my dream uni? — blog post #4

for my ug I wanted to go to this uni (can't tell) which I had been very interested in for a long time....it's expensive and far but i thought somehow I'll convince my parents to send me there....but...I couldn't (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)

what else did I even expect? It's expensive + far (being an elder child I understand them but they don't seem to see what all options are available to make it less expensive like 🌀loans🌀)

I filled the whole form!! I just wanted to give the exam after that we could've seen what outcome comes...but still they rejected this very thought of mine like they always do...

Sure, they love me...but they think I'm too dumb and I need CAREER COUNSELLING because someone blinded me w this fantasy and that it's only for the rich to afford, they think I should just do my ug here but I can't- I need to experience LIFE and be in a college where I can really see what college life is like not just BE AT HOME FOR THE WHOLE COLLEGE YEARS AND ONLY GO FOR EXAMS (ppl here do that cuz attendance doesn't matter) 😔 oh what a life i could've lived if I had rich parents (p.s - I love my parents regardless..I don't mind them not being super rich but at least try to understand? it's as if they don't even wanna try if its not like their way) I can't blame them, to them college degree is nothing but a degree!!! but for me my college days I imagined were to have freedom(not party till 6 am shit, just when I want to go somewhere, I can! And to learn how to survive alone), new friends of a different place, societies, clubs, fests, hostel Life, internships and what not but now I think...I'm going to give up going there but my silent yet stubborn ass can't stay still and just be here...I'll escape from here for sure...I'll prolly go somewhere closer..my heart is still there but let's see what happens 💭... tomorrow I'll try letting my mom know about what education loans are provided these days...LITERALLY HAVE TO REPAY AFTER 15 years those loans, and my fee can be soo cutely covered in it 🙏🏻😕

guyz I might seem like a bad kid that doesn't listen to her parents but I'm just in a chaos rn I wanna live a college life of my dreams but I can't just leave them all here and go if they aren't willing to but...my goals? That I set for myself? I wish I had the courage to say(my parents listen but they don't really try to understand so I just shut up)

SO WHAT IF I DON'T GET IN MY DREAM UNI? 🫧🗯️🐬🍥🚢

I will still go somewhere...and I'll be happy nevertheless (⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠)...in this life I've lived up until now I've experienced this same situation a little to many times..when I got in this state I wanted to go in a different school but ugh bcuz of there stupid rules i couldn't ....and more!! i hope things work out for me 💥🩵 I'll let whosoever is reading this know if it does in my later blogs <3

thanks for being my safe space to let my thoughts out!!!