getting out of my bed is hard

i don't do anything with my life. im spending my days emptily, its not like im enjoying it, more like im waiting for something to happen that will change the trajectory of my life. and i did actually believe in that. thought in high school something would happen, it didn't. then, i said ''in university something WILL happen, im just gonna wait for it''. well, nothings happening. and if i don't take action, nothings ever gonna happen. if i take a look back at the past couple of years of my life all i do is; go to school, rot in bed and meanwhile all that is in my head is to direct hate towards myself.  and i get angry thinking about it. like there were so many things i wanted to do but chose to stay in bed instead. i still want to do many things but i hide behind the excuse that i don't have time and im just too tired for it. i want to change that. i will try and fail every method i can think of until im satisfied with myself, until i start appreciating my life. that is just a thought tho. yes i want to change, enjoy life, but i never do anything about it. that's why i want to record these thoughts. maybe it will help me reflect better on them.

im thinking maybe cutting off social media might help to clear my head. well not completely. just less. ill see what im able to do in the upcoming days.