Wait help, where tf did my “gender” envy go??

Haiii warning before you read, this post is about penis envy, not gender envy. I say “gender” envy because idk if saying penis in the title will get me banned or smth :’). This is kinda like an update post in reference to my last one so maybe go read that one before you read this one if you’re still interested<3

Okay soooo last night I was doing as a confused person does and taking a bunch of “what do you identify as?” quizzes and lowkey crying because even the quizzes were confused. After that I started doing my little nightly routine and as I was falling asleep the thought came back into my head “who tf are you?” I realized “wait…where’d the penis envy go?”  I was like “maybe you were faking” but there’s NO WAY I was faking, I wouldn’t just suddenly fake that shit for a whole ass month. I clearly remember the feelings being pretty real, like I had an existential crisis realizing if I successfully reincarnate as a guy, present day me wouldn’t be able to recognize the struggle it took me to get there so like- there’s no way I was faking it. There’s no way I can fake it unless I was in some type of weird penis oriented psychosis??? Idfk anymore ToT

This makes me think “omg, what if you’re genderfluid? Some people identify with one gender for longer periods of time yk” but then I’m like “wait but that doesn’t feel right” but at the same time it kinda does but also I’ve never wanted to change my gender expression but at the same looking back maybe I have???? The only reason I’m in this mess is because of my fcking penis envy and now that it’s gone idk. THE WORST PART IS THAT LIKE- A COUPLE MONTHS AGO THIS EXACT SITUATION HAPPENED WHERE I WAS LIKE “yay, maybe it was a phase. I don’t have to think about it anymore weeee” SO I GO BACK TO “Hey, genderfluidity?” BUT AGAIN, IT DOESNT FEEL RIGHT SO IDK ToT   ToT   ToT