Perlman Monologue

Note: This time, I want to highlight one of the most important dialogue fragments in the entire movie Call Me by Your Name, where Elio and his father open their hearts and souls—especially his father—to help him understand that he is not alone.

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“You missed your dinner” father said. “So… Welcome home. Did Oliver enjoy the trip?”

“Yeah, I think he did.”

“You two had a nice friendship.”

“Yeah…”

“You’re too smart not to know how rare, how special, what you two had was.”

“Oliver was Oliver.”

“Parce-que c’etait lui, parce-que c’etait moi.”

“Oliver may be very intelligent but…”

“No, no, no… He was more than intelligent. What you two had, had everything and nothing to do with intelligence. He was good, and you were both lucky to have found each other, because… you too are good.”

“I think he was better than me, I think he was better than me.” The boy said, getting closer to his father.

“I’m sure he’d say the same thing about you”

“Yes” he said, chuckling.

“Which flatters you both…” father completed. “Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot. Just… Remember I’m here. Right now you maybe don’t wanna feel anything… Maybe you’ll never want to feel anything. And… Maybe it’s not to me you wanna speak about these things but… Feel something you obviously did.”

The two stared at each other.

“You two had a beautiful friendship. Maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you. In my place, most parents would wish the whole thing go away… And pray their sons land on their feet. But… I am not such a parent.”

And then father continued:

“We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything — what a waste! Have I spoken too much?”

The boy denied silently.

“Then let me say one more thing. It’ll clear the air. I may have come close, but I never had what you two have. Something always held me back or stood in the way. How you live your life is your business, just remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. And before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it. Right now, there’s sorrow, pain. Don’t kill it and with it the joy you’ve felt.”

The boy nodded, his eyes heavy with tears.

“Does mom knows?” he asked in a whisper.

“I don’t think she does.” father answered with a sad smile, reaching for his son’s head, messing with his hair.