Insecurity

In 8th grade, I wore face masks every day. But in 9th grade, when I started at a new school, I decided to stop wearing them. I wanted to get used to people seeing my face, even though I was scared. I didn’t care what others thought, so I didn’t really try to make friends. I spent most of that year alone, feeling lost and invisible. But somehow, I was still visible enough to get teased. People said I looked mean or intimidating, so not many people approached me.

By 10th grade, I started wearing makeup. My friends would often touch up theirs, and they’d tell me I looked okay. But I didn’t just want to look okay. I wanted to feel loved because someone thought I was pretty—not just because we’d known each other for a long time. I wanted to experience that, even if just once. Honestly, though, I still didn’t feel pretty. Only my closest friends thought I was, and I wished I could feel that way too.