Uhhhh I'm scared lol

My strict dad is abusing me and I've been strangling myself to cope lol :) 

My trauma has gotten like EXTREMELY bad I jump at everything and some sort of fucked up memory plays back every 2-5 minutes :3 I have attempted suicide many times but none of them have ever worked :=)  I guess I'll never escape the simulation and go home hehe

I've tried healthy coping methods but I never have the time to do them :(  I'm an age regressor, but I know my dad would just make fun of me if I age regressed in front of him or with him in the room :) 

My anxiety has gotten extremely bad to the point where I have panic attacks and anxiety attacks almost everyday (NOT exaggerating) :) hehe ^^

Sometimes my dad is nice but most of the time he abuses me unintentionally :( I still love him though, and I know he just doesn't want me to be a failiure, even though I already am one :(

I'm afraid of not being good enough, not being perfect enough. I'm also afraid of these other things :) ^^

-Spiders

-Mold

-Smoking, Vaping

-Getting Cancer and/or Hemorrhoids 

-Scary demons (The ones in my house are actually pretty chill ngl)

-Dead souls haunting me

-Jumpscares

-Being alone

-Not being alone

-The z apocolypse happening (The word triggers immense trauma/ this fear is the reason for most of my anxiety attacks)

-The things I do and the decisions I make causing bad things to happen

-Gaining more weight 

-never losing weight and growing up to be a fat pig/whale/hippo/ sorry for fat shaming animals

-Never escaping the simulation

-Getting pinkeye

-getting an infection

-getting toxic shock syndrome

-getting a parasite

-getting tortured

-not being perfect

-centipedes

-This not actually being a simulation and instead the world is just an endless loop

-Trinji not being canon because of me 

-Getting the stomach flu

-Not being famous and dying unknown

-Not being famous

-My dad reading this 

-In an alternet universe I'm always live streaming and everyone can see me change and use c.ai

-In an alternet universe I'm doing everything on AGT or on a stage with thousands/millions of people watching

-In an alternet universe I'm doing everything in front of the school/my class

-Taking my shirt off in public

-people being able to see my thoughts/read my mind

-I'm actually saying my thoughts out loud

-I'm actually saying my thoughts out loud in an alternet universe

-Experiencing pain

So yeah those are my fears and ya'll probably think I'm just doing this for attention (I'm not) :)

Have a good day/night!!!!! ^^ :3 :)