my gap year — blog post #3

Hi guyz (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆

I'm 18 years old, graduated from school, and took a gap year for the year 2024-25....in our country a gap year is usually taken for preparing for an exam or taking another year to pass them again ✍🏻It's kinda criticized if we take a gap year since it's seen as our incapability to go in the first year itself (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ I had a gap year...and yes I did face a lot of sayings from my relatives and even friends who went to college that year...either they say "you're taking a drop for this????" Or "your one year will be wasted"also I changed my subject this year so had to hear a lot of "she must've guts to change it & take a year off" but was it really a waste? Icl but my last years of highschool were hell, I've been such a disappointment to so many people, one of my lowest phases of life and I've lost so many friends and contacts with people it feels so unusual to think I ever had them by my side ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌ when school finally ended I felt what peace was actually like I miss my days with them but I'm better off ig I've grown so much as a person...I used to be such a people pleaser before ngl I still am but it's better now I hope so. I spent a lot of time with my family, there were a lot of weddings and we even bought a new house (⁠･⁠o⁠･⁠;⁠) I didn't really expect it but yeah 🫶🏻 I've been crush-less for a year now ig and it feels so light honestly 🫧When I was in school i had so many ppl to talk to but still I felt lonely but now when I've almost no one I still feel content, no need to wait for someone's text or get anxious for another day 🌀 I've become a total homebody, I just stay in my bed, get up, shower, eat, bed, sleep...though it wasn't the most productive, maybe all along for me to get healed I just needed this, this right here....🏮 in my gap year the person I talked to most was...me hehe 🐬 and I love talking with myself regardless but this year it was different..i realised 🐣 people were disappointed...my parents were the most probably but I'll make them proud this year!! ★ for anyone who's thinking of doing a gap year just trust your gut! Things will work out for you 🍓 gap year really teaches you a lot...i now have sooo many hobbies which I didn't even know of <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> I enjoyed this year thoroughly and grew a lot in my creative aspect!!! There are things which still hurt me and they're literally ancient rn (like a few years ago) but somewhere this year helped me deal with my own feelings and healed me...I struggle with friendships the most!! I hope I can bond stronger w people this year...now that my gap year is ending and I've to start college from July, I'm already missing my life...how can I not? This year was everything I needed... peace and silence and time to think and think and rethink bout everything I did and said and was going to do but i stopped midway....I have regrets just like others and my coping mechanisms are literally isolation & forgetting & self taking so idk if it helps or not ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠-⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄ if there's anyone who feels sad just because they couldn't get in uni, just know it's not the end of the world! Next year will come....you can restart everything (I wish someone told me this because starting the gap year was stressful & sad) I hope my uni years don't feel like a stepmom who hates me 👰🏻‍♀️ I hope I can finally make friends I feel very comfortable with and I hope I can finally be in my academic weapon era 🔫