the world is so large

I didn't know what to put as the category of this blog.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A PHILOSOPHER, NONE OF THIS IS TO BE TAKEN AS SUCH. I AM LITERALLY JUST GOING TO RANT ABOUT SOMETHING, DO NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY.

sometimes i remember the universe is really big

and that everything that we do is just so small

sometimes i wonder

if i disappeared

would it matter

like

ik it would hurt ppl

but it wouldnt change the world

the world is so large

nothing we do truly matters

i could disappear

no one would care (outside of the friend group)

theres over 8 billion ppl on this planet

so many ppl on this planet dont even know who i am

why would they care abt me

they have no reason to

i havent made a huge impact on the world

idk

just

the world is so large

we are so small

the world doesnt feel like it matters when i remember that

like

every little thought in my head

is just

gone

the second i stop thinking abt it

im typing this all

not to make you upset by this

but to just try and get it all out

one of my exes 

would always talk abt this

some nights i really start thinking abt it

it hurts

especially bc me and him dont talk anymore

its weird

i used to think everything in my life was so important

then i decided i wanted to chage for the better

now im seeing just how small my life is in comparison to everything else

yk

im just a spec in the grand scheme of things

idk

its weird typing this all out

ive felt this way for awhile

i just

always felt weird when i would try to talk abt it

i fuck up

a lot

and everyone does

the more and more i see that ppl arent perfect the more and more i feel like im "normal"

ik im no where near normal

i mean

hell

i have other ppl living in my head

but like

idk

smth abt everything just feels

normal

but only when i remember things arent perfect

ik its odd

but just

idk

i feel the need to say all of this to someone

idk 

sometimes i feel like i need to stop thinking so much abt stupid little things

~Asher