Stupid economy

That's right im not good at anything 

Arts, sports, academic, i can't even count simple stuff i could barely talk and im forced into getting into a school I don't want all i think about was money when i get into that school I don't even think about the stuff I'll be dealing like my sleeping schedule is going to be less ho im not even healthy when i really want to do something i always lack in economics wtf do you mean im supposed to asked god to give me money is he going to give me one I've praying since child and nothing was granted what because im a sinner? WTF DID I EVEN SIN?!?!? WAS  IT WRONG FOR A KID ASKING  FOR A MONEY TO MY DAD AND EVEN TRIED TO STEAL HIS MONEY I WAS A CHILD I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER WHY DOES GOD PUNISHING ME FOR NO REASON IM A TEENAGER OF COURSE IM CHILDISH why is he giving me the lack of everything why did i do to even deserve this?? why?? am i supposed to beg for money?? Why is I born into such a family am i even good at something? Can i really think for myself?  WHY SHOULD I BE THE ONE WHO'S ASHAMED FOR BORN INTO SUCH FAMILY WHY DO I HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED FOR NOT HAVING ENOUGH MONEY GROWING UP THAT'S ALL 

MONEY

MONEY

MONEY

MONEY

MONEY 

FUCK IT 

Good education? My ass the stuff I've learned is supposed to FOLLOW THE BOOKS FUCK OFF KYS ALL OF YOU DIE

IM NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING I HAVE TO BE GOOD AT THE FREE STUFF LIKE LEARNING OR CHESS OR ANYTHING THAT IS FREE I CAN'T CHOOSE MUSIC AND SPORT SINCE IT COST MONEY I HAVE TO GAIN SOMETHING TO EXCHANGE FOR IT LIKE LEARNING WHEN IM FUCKING DUMB OR OR AT CHESS WHEN I CAN'T EVEN PREDICT THE ENEMY'S MOVE I HAVE TO SOMEHOW SEE THE VISION WHEN NO ONE EVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO PLAY CHESS. WHY CAN'T YOU BE GOOD LIKE OTHERS IN CHESS? THEY FUCKING LEARNED IT FROM THEIR FATHER I DON'T HAVE A FATHER DO I GET TO HAVE CHESS CLASS I DON'T THINK SO EITHER SO THAT'S WHY IM NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING IM NOT EDUCATED FOR IT. OH WHEN YOU HAVE A DAD IT'S LUCKY FOR YOU WHAT ABOUT ME I DON'T HAVE ONE AM I UNLUCKY? I can't talk to anybody about this problem they'll probably can't do anything either to help me, I'm helpless 

I made an animation (useless child by kikou) abt my situation only to be laughed at i felt stupid for trying to show them or even trying to make one i tried to fit in but nothing worked out either 

I tried to dress up myself because i think if I'm useless at academic or non academic why not try to be pretty and do model

Turns out it cost money too not just got randomly picked on the street and be like "you'll be working in Victoria secret or something" right im so dumb to even hope for something or to even think im pretty enough im mid I'll never be PRETTY 

I even tried telling my older sisters about it they just make fun of me and just told me to shrugged it off

I hate myself I'll just try to kill myself tomorrow fuck all of this