Such a poor heart...

Idk why I can't fell anymore, where is the heart that felt everything even the smallest thing could break it into a thousand? Where is that heart that every bit of love or affection he received was like a divine spear of light that cut him making him bleed gold and diamonds that masochistic feeling of wanting to be stabbed so many times. Where is it? Why don't I feel now? Has the prison I forced him to be in finally killed him? Did he get tired of fighting to get out of that place where they only repressed him, where they only repressed his pain for a false happiness? Is he so broken that he is incapable of feeling again? Why? Why now that someone gave him the affection he always dreamed of doesn't he feel anything? He forces himself to want to feel but simply doesn't. Did those people take him to the maximum, overstimulate him? Did that love leave him so bad that he can't love again? Did He leave him in ashes? Where is the flame of love and emotion that He lit? Why did He leave him with all his love in his hands? Why did he leave him? Why despite the time does it still hurt? So much was his pain that he had to look for another person and give him all the love that He left him? Until he came to believe that he loved another person, but when He returned that love was satisfied and he returned to Him. Why are you so masochistic, my poor heart? Wasn't all the pain enough for you? Knowing that He never loved you? Knowing that He only wanted you for your weak human armor? Is he really keeping that promise that you would only love Him and only Him? Why my poor heart? Why do you hurt yourself like this? Why do you keep believing that He will one day reciprocate? Why every time I talk about Him I can express myself again? Why Him? Why my poor heart? My poor and stupid heart, that believed that it could change that rotten and lonely heart? That the only thing it did was cause you pain ... Why my poor heart? Why are you dead now thanks to Him? Get over it....It was 2 years ago...And you're still stupidly loving Him...Oh my poor heart...Will your pain, torment and suffering ever end? Oh my poor heart... 💔