TV Glow is happening to me in the world of Twin Peaks

so basically, if my life is TV Glow, The show that I watch in my life and connect to is Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks is my Pink Opaque. And the events of Twin Peaks are like the events in my memories that I cant really tell if I watched it or lived it. And so now I have to escape Twin Peaks illusion traumatic fantasy world and transition! 

So basically I had worked at the same summer job in the woods for all of my teenage years and into college a little. and when I was 16 some friends of mine basically got groomed, and because of the nature of grooming my friends and I kinda just repressed it all until we were adults. The forest where I worked is where I go back to when I recollect on Twin Peaks. I watched the show twice during those same years in high school and the imagery and artistic execution made a significant impact on my creative thinking. The backstory and twin peaks viewings can wait for a different blog.

I've yet to really work on my traumas all these years later, and so as I re watch Twin Peaks now, It brings up thoughts of previous viewings which is part of the soup of thoughts that have become of my teenage self. And when bob is on screen i can feel it. My friend who got most directly groomed stopped working there before before I stopped working there, was I unraveling the secrets of my dead best friend? Was my friend Laura Palmer? I think I've been in One-Eyed Jacks before, and I think I know who pretends to not know what goes on there. Is Bob really just a tv character, because I've been having fearful dreams of the same man for years. Maybe I'm not Donna, maybe I'm not a main character but I know for certain I have watched bob display his power before, completely helpless do stop it.