recovery+gender

a little while ago i thought id forever forgotten how to feel gender euphoria and realized i hadnt felt it in months. genuinely thought it was over for me and my depression was hitting a low i hadnt felt in a year since i had to call out the man who attempted to groom me. low times. 

but ive been feeling so much better in the past week or so. ive been able to see my friends a lot more and its the first time in my life ive had people calling me my chosen name so much without hesitation or question. i havent had to be a mom friend unable to do anything but be responsible for my friends. ive been able to just be a person and its been so amazing i can't even articulate it. 

things arent perfect but theyre better which is so much more than i could have asked for and i feel like im finally getting the friend group ive always wanted in the semester with all of the art courses and my favourite band having their album rollout start

my friend's brother saw me on a video call the other day and i heard him asking his brother who 'that guy' he was on vc with was and asking about 'him'. ill probably never even meet this kid in person but he was the first stranger to correctly gender me. i only processed it once the call ended and i almost started crying.

i love my friends so dearly and im so happy im finally feeling better. i think i might come out to my mom soon if i'm still feeling confident. idk. things will be ok and the future is terrifying but i dont have to think about that right now.