VENICE RECAP: I SAW JESUS AND HE GAVE ME LIFE ADVICE

Ok so, Venice. What a place. What a fever dream. Here’s what went down.
- Walked for actual hours. My feet? Gone. Left them in a canal somewhere. Rip.
- My friend’s aunt is an angel sent from heaven. Paid for everything and even gave me a whole-ass cake. I have done nothing to deserve this but I am eternally grateful.
- A dude dressed as Jesus Christ looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Vai piano sulle scale” (go slow on the stairs). I have NEVER taken advice more seriously in my life.
-On the way back, we ran into two cosplayers at the station. Almost thought I was hallucinating due to exhaustion, but nope. Real. Venice during Carnival season is like walking into an alternate timeline.
Most importantly: I DIDN’T GET ROBBED. Thank God (and Jesus 2.0). Not a single pickpocket tried me. Either I look too broke to steal from, or my paranoia was stronger than their will to commit crimes. Either way, W for me.

Final thoughts: 10/10 experience. Feet are dead, stomach is full, soul has been blessed by Venice Jesus. Would 100% do it again.

Almost forgot: I WANTED TO GO ON A GONDOLA RIGHT. I was so ready to live my best Venetian dream, cruising through the canals like a refined gentlewoman of culture… until I saw the price. 90 FUCKING EUROS. FOR 30 MINUTES. Bro, at that point, just throw me in the canal and let me swim. It’s free.