Regretting being an edgelord lady?

I hated that phase when i was forcing myself to watch unwatchable media for the sake of being edgy. Now i got what? Damaged brain? Paralysing nightmares? Ibs which is active 24/7? Inescapable nihilism and pessimism.. i want a new koala soft clean brain bruh i cant even chill and i thought it was normal... anyways breath exercises, physical exercises and putting THE GODDAMN PHONE DOWN are helping. I wish i could go back and tell myself to focus on live laugh love side of the internet ;'$$