No one sees me as a real guy

21/2/2025

I used to have short hair(my mum wont let me cut it again), and i kinda feel like when i have longer hair people treat me more like a girl. Its unfair. i dont act any diffrentley, speak diffrent, nothing. my name is kinda long, so people abbreviate it and the abbreviation is really girly (or well i see it that way) and ive told one of my friends to stop calling me it and just call me by my full name but she didnt listen.

I dont really know what to do. i just feel useless. another thing is that my councellor slips up a weird amount. i mean, im greatfull hes trying, but it just upsets me because hes not known me when i thought i was a girl, so whys he slipping up?? and he knows how much it impacts me when people do this. i dunno.

its just really really fucking frustrating. some days i just look at myself and i see more of a girl than a boy phisically, but when i cant see myself, i feel like a guy. its really strange. its like im not looking at myself. i dunno.