maturing makes you free

lately the atmosphere in my class is like so so hostile. last year i already suffered it with some rather immature people but i didn't think that this year would be worse. i was talking it w my therapist when she told me that these childish attitudes should not change MY attitude and my main objective: to learn new things about art & to evolve my own. my friends this year are a safe place for me, for the first time since i graduated in art history i can assure that every day that passes i am more excited to go to class bc i feel happy  ˃̶̤́  ˂̶̤̀ . but that doesn't mean that some days are hard and i don't feel insecure. since my last session i have been reflecting on this kind of people and how they socialize (i must respect it even if i don't share it, according to my therapist), a little bit sad not gonna lie. why be cruel as a way of socializing? 

i'm too old for this. 

so i thought that growing up makes you free!!!! because when you have a strong base of relationships (any kind but most important w yourself!) you don't need to fit in ANYWHERE and you don't need validation from other people (oooof course we are social beings and we need to socialize but you know what i mean right) even if you don't like those people or want a genuine two-way relationship with them. feeling secure is a privilege of age. you're less of an asshole. have these people thought about taking up a hobby like- crochet maybe?¿¿¿ it must be exhausting wanting to be the main character all the time. you have to be the main character of your own life but you can't pretend to be the main character in the lives of others.

btw i don't acknowledge their existence i'm busy being loved by genuinely good people. i mean - it must be frustrating needing attention by hurting others. i'll give them a couple years. i've been a jerk too (but not cruel). they're just finding their place.

as 5SOS said in "take my hand" (2022): open eyes right at 23. thats the age.