I Miss the Ocean.

Now that it's starting to get warmer where I live, I'm getting more and more antsy to go to the beach. So, when my mother asked me to come down to her house, to go to the beach with her, I couldn't refuse.

My day yesterday was a slow one, it took me a while to get up and get out of bed. I had some chores to do before I left, so I grabbed my friend and went out for a small hangout while I did my chores. It was quite rainy and bleak out, but it was still warm. I didn't end up leaving the house until about 4pm, and didn't arrive at my mom's until 6pm... She lives a bit far from me, and my new job keeps me busy, so it's hard to meet up like we used to.

I have a strange relationship with my mother. I love her more than anything, yes, and she loves me too. Despite this, it's still strange at times because we do not see eye to eye on many things. Growing up, I was a very silent kid, I barely uttered a word. It wasn't because I was forced to, I just never felt the need to speak up. My entire family was loud, three older siblings who were all opinionated and much older than me. I never felt the need to talk due to them all saying what they desired, it didn't help that my older sister always doted on me. Once they all grew up and left the house, it was just me and my mother. My siblings tell me I got to experience our mother at her nicest, which I do believe. Before I was born, she had Three kids and was a single parent. She made a few mistakes in her time; I understand that now that I'm older. My problem is that now she feels lonely. My sister and her live together now, and since my sister has grown and had children of her own, now she's a grandparent. It's strange to me, she should be happy, but she still tells me about how she gets lonely at times. Her and my sister tend to bicker more often than not, which they always have, so its unsurprising to me that it still continues on. I think the most surprising thing about it all though, is how much my mother complains about the loneliness she feels. I feel sorry for her, and I want to help her, but I'm unsure how to show her that she has people close to her that love her and want to spend time with her. 

When I arrived at her house, she made dinner for the house. I miss my mother's cooking; there's something about it that makes it better than anyone else's. I ate, spent time with my nephews and my sister and my mother, before me and her finally went to the beach. 

It was pitch black outside by the time we arrived, and the tide was so far out that the wet sand felt freezing underneath my feet. The chill of the night breeze felt amazing to me, even though my mother was shivering. She didn't get into the water with me, but it felt surprisingly warm on my legs. I didn't go that far out, I still had to drive myself home, but it was still amazing. I miss the sea more than anything, driving myself to the beach just to sit and listen to the waves, watch as the water washes up and seeing the seafoam pop into nothing. The spray on the sea touching my face, and when it would be so much that the beach would look foggy. I miss it all. The beach always seems to calm me. Whenever I would have a bad day, I would simply go to the beach and enjoy my time. 

Last night, it was silly. My mother is quite strange, which is never a bad thing. I would have my back turned to her to look at the ocean, look at the waves, then when I would look back to tell her something, she would be in the middle of a sudden dance? It happened at least three different times, and when I asked her what she was doing she would respond with, "I'm dancing with the waves!" she's a very spiritual woman, so she believes that everything is alive. I'm not sure if I believe it, but it's cute to see her do such things. We looked at the stars, even though it was a bit cloudy. There was absolutely no light pollution, you could see everything almost perfectly. As a child, I was very big into astronomy. I know almost all of the constellations by heart, I could see taurus and Orion, as well as a few others. It was beautiful. It was.

I took a picture of the sea, only one. My mother told me I should so I can look at it whenever I miss it, but it was so dark out it didnt turn out well lol

I had a very nice night last night, and before I left my mother baked me some fresh bread. I do love her, I hope she knows how loved she is. 

Thats all I have for now. I love you all, as always. Have a blessed day ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ