Report Blog Entry
very random, unplanned blog entry here. might delete later. i just need to rant about how i'm so so sick of my phone. it sucks to admit, but i am addicted to my phone. i have a thousand things to do, mostly study related, but the moment i pick up my phone for whatever reason, i'm gone. any and all thoughts slip right out. actually no - they're still there. it's either me being guilty but still stuck doing whatever on my phone (repeatedly lying to myself that it's just once more scroll, just one more chapter), or i've convinced myself that i deserve the break. except the break never ends. and then suddenly, it's 2 am, i haven't gotten nearly enough work done, and i'm contemplating staying awake longer to study and feel better about myself. it's absolutely ridiculous. how is it possible to be completely aware of the problem, yet unable to fucking stop yourself. i never took the self-discipline stuff seriously when i was younger, but man if i had a drop of that i wouldn't be here, losing sleep over what this little device has done to me.
because it's not the phone's fault is it? no, the phone isn't inherently bad. it makes my life better in many ways. but if only i could put it down and away when i want to, when i know i should, it wouldn't be consuming my life right now.
and do not get me started on the lack of attention span. it's real. why did it take me so long to realize that?
the more i think about it, the more i see this as an actually addiction. not unlike drug addiction. the cravings, the compulsion, the disregard for consequences, the utter lack of control.
i am trying. i swear. currently i've got a screen time widget to keep me aware of how much time i've spent on it. i'm trying to build a mentality of "it cannot go above 6 hours". 6 hours to start with, hoping to bring it down to 4-5, but small steps. i'm using a stopwatch to measure how much time i've spent actually studying so that i can feel bad about it and (ideally) do better the next day. but that's the thing - i always feel bad at the end of the day, but i'm not seeing enough change the next day to believe that all this is helping.
if anyone at all has got any suggestions or just in the same boat as me, help me, i'm begging you.
Comments
Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
⋆｡°✩vap0rize✩°｡⋆
don't feel too bad, there are tons of ppl like u (me included)! tech companies r rly squeezing every last second of our free time so we can consume more. i think ur on the right path, reducing screen time slowly. that means ur more likely to make actual change VS. someone who would go from 12 hr -> 2 hrs suddenly.
there are many practical tips like turning ur phone to black&white 0color so its less interesting, removing apps that r wasting the most time, and sometimes phones even have built-in screentime managing software. how silly right lmao.. imagine having a cigarette pack that has a built-in restriction XD i've tried to reduce my screen time a few times, and even today i again realized how much it truly affects me .. we are only young once, why the hell should we spend so much of that time on a boring ahh brick??
maybe u can do some scheduling, like allow yourself some hrs of scrolling after studying. like it might sound counterintuitive but u wont feel bad ! then u can reduce that time in the future. also if u don't have much hobbies outside technology then i recommend some like drawing, writing, lifting.. there's a whole world out there !! it will just stay out of our reach if we observe others living in it right. :P i totally relate to you though ! it's rly a normalized addiction right?