councelling is dumb.

20/2/2025

ive noticed that ive begun hating councelling sessions. i mean, i dont really really hate them, its just there so pointless for me. at my school, theres this test you have to fill out, and its questions like: 

-do you ever feel anxious/depressed?
-do you have thoughts of harming yourself or others?
-are you sleeping well?

stuff like that. and its out of 40 (40 is the worst you can get), and ive tooken this twice, and in thoes 2 times, ive gotten 32 each damn time. ITS SO POINTLESS. my situation isnt gonna get better cuz of some councelling bullshit. i mean, the school has tried to change my parents opinions on me being trans, but thats not really working out. its just making the situation way worse. 

i get it. the school just want to help. but its really not. one of my guidance teachers said that if i wanted, at 16, i could get put into foster care. okay. light at the end of the tunnel maybe??? im not too sure. obviosuly, my foster parents arent gonna care whether im trans or not, so thats nice, but i fully intend on going to university. my grades arent great. sometimes i think that its because of my parents, and because of the stress, and i mean, maybe. but i feel like im lazy?? i just have no motivation to do anything. i think i just need to do it. maybe i need a job or something to atleast get some money so i can save up for university, but i live in a kinda small closed off area, where people arent accepting of trans people. theres a lot of old people here lol. 

anyways, my plan is, to complete school, with the best POSSIBLE grades i can, then with the money i saved up from my job, get a flat or something close to the uni if i get in.