Looking at him with love and sadness…

Hello, y’all!

Today’s blog post will be about me looking at my boyfriend. You’re probably wondering why do I need to know about this girl and what she does in her free time. You’re right, but hey…it’s just something I thought of the other day.

When I look at him…what do I see? The first thing I notice are his eyes. I love his eyes so much. He has brown eyes. I like whenever the light hits them as they turn into these “amber-like” gems. *pauses tape* Funny moment…I have dark brown eyes! And one time when we were chillin in bed, staring into each other’s eyes, I covered mine. Then asked him what color were they? I had put him on the spot, he said hazel! I’ll never forget that, lol. *play* I like how he looks at me. He has many looks…some that I like, some that I don’t. One being he looks as if he wishes he were somewhere else and is annoyed of me. It’s that arrogant look. I love it so much. Typing this, it sounds bad. It’s not! (I hope not, oops) I like whenever he winks at me. He’s not the GREATEST at it, but when he does it, I melt.

Along with his eyes…I just love his face. Like yeah sure, he’s hot and all (though it seems like he doesn’t think he is), but I literally like his face. The shape of it…the feel of it…everything. Like his eyes, his nose, his eyebrows, his mouth, his teeth (which includes his gap), and his scars. I like it all.

When cleaning his room the other day we found some old IDs he had (which we totally threw away after!). I liked looking at them because you can see him progress in age. I look at these pictures of him and wonder what he was like back then. Would he have liked me? Would he have even paid any attention to me? Y’know if we saw each other in the hallway at school or out and about. Then again, we’d have to be the same age not our difference now, haha. He looks like so much fun. He looks like he rebelled. He’s such a bad boy! Hahaha, not.

In one of the most recent IDs we found, my heart kind of stopped, when I looked at the picture. I was amazed. It looked like him but different, as do the other cards. It’s crazy to look at someone and see the similarities but they look just different. I know, I’m not making sense. In this picture you see him, but he was bigger. I’m not saying that’s a problem, because I myself am a big (in my case, huge) girl. But, seeing him made me feel sad. He talks about how he’s loss this amount of weight by doing this and that. And how he wants to lose even more. Which is fantastic…I’ll root him on for it. But, to think he didn’t like himself (I only assume there was some sort of unwanted feeling of him not liking his image, idk…I assume a lot of things). When looking at that picture I felt sadness yet love. I glanced from the ID to his “future self” in front of me. Knowing I would’ve loved him then and now…idk, made me feel a certain way. I know he looks at me and sees me as “cute and pretty” (the go to words he describes me), but I wonder…does he? But hey, we all have a reason on why we think our person is attractive.

Along with his good looks…what makes him even more attractive is that he’s so smart. The boy reads a ton! He literally knows so much stuff, it’s crazy. I like the look he has when he’s trying to remember something! He closes his eyes and tilts his head at times. He looks like this >_<…it’s so cute. I wish I was half as smart as him. But, where I lack in general knowledge, I gain in knowing music, lol.

Hm, well anyways…that concludes our film for tonight. I hope you enjoyed it. Just another random set of thoughts. Uhhh!

Until next time,

Zelly :))