sicky

hello three people who read my blog/diary entries, last night i had a really strange dream 

warning for death and gory stuffz

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so basically i don’t know what i was doing but i was talking to this girl when she tried to kill me, she failed at first but then she tried again and sliced my throat completely open. i didn’t feel any pain but i remember i couldn’t speak. then there was someone at my door, a man who i tried to get to help me but he was too excited at the fact that he would get to see a dead body. then while i was still alive and bleeding out they started to chop me up into pieces to get rid of me. idk why she killed me or who she was but it was just odd. she looked manic, like how i am when im in the mania phase of my bpd, eyes super wide and pupils small, but she never smiled. she didn’t even speak if i recall correctly.

i remember the guy being in a red letterman jacket and a black shirt and i think she was wearing yellow? idk either way i came back as a ghost and confronted him and i said “i saw you chopping me up, i was still alive” and he was spooked and mortified by me but not by his actions

i keep having these weird gory dreams about serial killers and death and blood lately, i don’t know why. maybe my subconscious brain is tormented in a way my conscious brain can only get me to realize through my dreams

okay