Feb 18 2025 - uhh

im very worried about reconnecting on my old ig with my highschool classmates

i bet all of them are married and stuff

see im not really interested pursuing a relationship with anyone, i could live alone all i wanted to. A boyfriend never appealed to me, but now i feel like due to both societal and parental pressures i need to get married, like find someone for me when i really am uncomfortable to be intimate with them

it feels like i need to kill the lack of drive i feel in me to start finding people when i dont want to. i just dont feel ready, i feel like exploding when people mention my age as a 26 year old and muh "expiration dates" gonna end, first its marriage and then its children. i get stuck in a household with my fam and i never get a chance to explore the world like i want to, im just tethered to expectations, forcing myself to like people and marry one of them

you dont to need to feel compelled to say something to me i just feel very frustrated thinking about this imaginary ceiling